Ethnic cooking Classes 101: Learning to cook cross-culturally

I recently started taking a local cooking class about 10 minutes away. It is quite the experience. As far as the actual cooking is concerned the difficulty level is fairly easy. Even though I have now lived in this culture for almost 4 years, I only know a handful of local dishes I can make. Having a whole bunch of new ideas and understanding of how to make them is definitely helpful for me.

A cooking class here is not what you would expect if you took a class in N. America. There are so many layers to the culture here and this exposes another side that I have not gotten to see much. Food safety is not very high on the list. Everyone washes their hands but in terms of food storage and preparation there is no discussion. If we need to cool a cake or a chicken quickly it simply gets set outside the window for a few minutes with or without a cover.

The class begins with greetings and mandatory kisses (one on each cheek) and then we write out the recipes for the food we are to prepare that day before moving into the kitchen area to begin the cooking. All of the students are women and most of them covered. In a gendered society such as this, cooking is a women’s world. Most of the students are wives and mothers and they certainly already know how to cook as many of them have been cooking for their families since a young age.

               Cooking together as a group of women here is mostly a social event. It is a time when women can come together and be themselves without the ears and eyes of the men looking in. It is time when they can come together over something as simple as needing dough, peeling potatoes, and cooking large pots of rice. It breaks up the monotony of the daily chores of life and adds some fun. It has been a great way for me to practice my language skills as well as my dough rolling, and grape leaf wrapping abilities -something which they are kind enough to teach me over and over again as I don’t quite do it right.

  While I consider myself to be a fairly decent cook, the cooking they do here is far different. Everything is measured using soup spoons, dessert spoons or tea spoons and by water glasses, tea cups and coffee cups and by handfuls (literally- a handful of parsley or pouring salt or olive oil into your palm to measure). It’s more about knowing ratios and tasting as you go.

                Sometimes while we work, the teacher reads a book aloud from the corner and other times we chat about life and our kids. Usually this causes gasps of amazement and bewilderment that I am now pregnant with our 4^th child. Comments of “that must be so difficult” to how blessed I am to have 3 children with a 4^th on the way are quite common. I also get told that now I have enough children so I must stop after this one. This always leads to needing to show pictures of my children and have them marveled at for their fair skin and blonde hair.

At the end of our cooking class we all sit down together and share the food we have prepared over hot cups of tea. Tea is a must with almost every meal, especially if it is in a social setting. Since I am the only member of the class who is pregnant I am continually given extra food and made to sample things before they are ready to be eaten so that I don’t fall over from starvation and I get enough food to nourish the baby. Not finishing my plate usually gets me some disapproving looks.

I love the ability to be able to connect with these women in a more natural environment. Where we do something together and they can teach me something that I genuinely want to learn. I am going 2 mornings a week right now and really enjoying this new way of connecting and building relationships with women I would normally not have the ability to connect with. If you want to learn a traditional dish, let me know and I can try to write out a recipe of one of the dishes I have learned.

If you ever come visit us and you are female, I will take you along and you can experience for yourself the fun and challenge of cooking locally with a language barrier. It really is fun and relaxed at these classes most of the time.

Cross cultural living with kids & a snowstorm

My kids are funny...sometimes living in a cross cultural setting they think of things and say things they probably wouldn't if we lived in N. America. Often when they are playing together they talk about where they are travelling to. Usually they are on an airplane flying off to Germany, Austria, Columbia, Canada, America, Australia- all places we have either been or have good friends from there. They often remind me that when we go visit the grandparents it will be 2 airplane rides...a shorter one and then a really, really, REALLY LOOONG airplane ride. If it is not an international destination they have in mind, it is to other cities in our adoptive country. Places I had never heard of and couldn't even pronounce 2 years ago but it is a fact for them and part of their lives here. I am thankful for children who travel well and enjoy it.
Since our kids are still young and they don't actually remember Canada or USA, they are home here in this culture and they make us laugh when they do things that is such a part of the culture here but something we as adults had to learn when we arrived here. Most of their play-acting is not done in English, and as I sat in my language lesson the other day struggling with the negative tenses and 2nd person usage and proper formatting of compound sentences, my almost 3 year old came in to the room to see what we were doing.
She knows when to use which language and with who, so when my language helper asked her where her brother was and what he was doing, she answered accordingly. What she said was, "he is downstairs but he isn't  playing, he is just doing something" of course my helper, was very impressed that she answered correctly and had all the grammar, tones and body language correct. I am not ashamed to say that she both speaks and understands better than I do. She is still only 2.
I wish I could spout out sentences as easily and naturally as her.
I love watching my kids thrive and flourish here in this culture. It is a culture that I struggle to identify with. Things that don't make sense to me or that I find difficult, the kids see as second nature and understand it. I wish I felt as at home as they do but its hard when I have the language ability of a 2 year old and feel like I am in a goldfish bowl when I go out especially if its with all the kids. Thankfully the kids are oblivious to that or just used to the attention and it doesn't bother them the way it used to when we first arrived.
On another unrelated topic, we are in the midst of a full on blizzard! We rarely get snow and it usually only lasts for a day or so but last night it started and has not stopped. Apparently a thunder snow (a snow storm with lighting and thunder) is rare but we have been having one all day and we also had one a few weeks ago too. The kids were excited to go outside and play in our street (we have no backyards here). We managed with the help our our wonderful friend and helper Z to build a snowman and in local fashion we used olives for eyes and a carrot for the nose. It is their first snowman ever I think. I really miss having a yard that I can just send them out and play in so it was helpful that Z was able to take the kids out for a bit and I could join them later with the baby. We have 4 flights of winding stairs to get outside to the road so its not easy especially with 3 kids and all their snow gear on. Now they are having hot chocolate and warming up while I have a few minutes to admire the storm and write on this blog. I sure hope Z is able to get home later as her road has been closed from the snow and that my hubby who is on the other side of the city taking a course is able to get home.
This was rather random. I will try to update more but for now I am going to go and enjoy watching the weather and playing with the kids.

Birth Story: cross cultural birth-dont read if you dont want the details...

          When we moved to this country we knew we would probably have a baby here at some point. When I found out i was pregnant, i was recommended to see a certain ob/gyn who was familiar with foreign women an had done births for several foreign women i knew. She came with great reviews. She spoke great English which was also great. However, the c-section rate here is over 90% and that had me a little concerned as i did not want to feel pressured into having interventions where they were not needed. I did a ton of research and talked to alot of people about natural birth options here and found very little helpful resources. The ob i was seein was willing to do a natural birth but she could not guarantee me skin to skin time with the baby once he was born. The have pediatritions and nurses that do all the baby care as soon as baby is born and they dont like to interfere with that.
This was important to me. I kept looking for an alternative. Finally at 25 weeks or so, i found a dr online who claimed to be a natural birth dr. I called her up and had a great chat on the phone with her. I was a little nervous about using her as i knew no one else who had used her. I met with her in person a few weeks later with Andrew and she was so great! she answered all my questions and i could tell right away that natural birth was something she really felt strongly about and I would be able to have skin to skin time with baby provided nothing was wrong when he came out. So I switched my care to her. She was always patient and helpul and took time to listen. i never felt rushed.
She had warned me about the pediatritions taking over and said basically as soon as the cord was cut her job was over and the pediatrician would step in so i might have to fight for what i wanted but she woukd let them know my wishes.
                I was due June 27 and on June 29th I still had no signs of labour. I had been having intense and painful Braxton Hicks for weeks but no progress. At my last ultrasound on the 27th the Dr. had told me everything looked ready to go and Baby was waiting for my mom to come. My mom came Friday afternoon and Sunday I decided to go to church with everyone to get out of the house and take my mind of impending labour. We had a good morning and I spent the afternoon trying to relax. I had taken an "induction tea" a few days earlier that the Dr. had given me but nothing had happened. I took a bath with lavender essential oil, had supper and then spent the evening on my birthing ball. As we put the kids to bed that night I told E, my 3 year old that if we were not there in the morning we were having the baby. Around 930pm i started having strong Braxton Hicks again...I was getting really annoyed with them. I got ready for bed but I just couldnt relax. Around 10pm I told Andrew I was calling the dr because they were not letting up and although not regular, they felt different enough to ask her about them. (one great thing about living here is all the dr.'s give you their personal cell #s).I gave her a call and she didnt think it was labour yet because it had only been 30 minutes of pain and discomfort, but if I wanted to come in and get checked she would meet me at the hospital and see where things were at.
We got ready to go and by 1030 we were waiting for a taxi. They were still irregular and not all the painful so I was starting to doubt my descsion to go in but I figured we might as well and the taxi was on its way anyways....
We got to the hospital just before 11pm and the dr. met me there. They had me on the monitors and I had only had 1 or 2 contractions since being hooked up but when she checked me she said...welcome to the hospital...your staying. Your at 5 cm.
             They got me into the delivery room, turned the lights down and put some soothing music on for me. The nurse (who spoke no english but was great!) got me a hot water bottle for my back and took my info and then both her and the dr left us alone. The dr. made it clear she was sticking close by so if i wanted her I just had to let the nurse know. After 2 hours of now fairly regular contractions but nothing to intense, I asked the nurse to get the dr to check again. With my last birth I was stuck at 4 until they broke my water and I did not want to be going no where if i could progress with my water being broken. The Dr. came back in and checked and I was at 7 so no need to break my water. She left and came back a few minutes later in her scrubs...An hour later I was at 10. By now it was getting intense. I was in lots of pain but I was still getting breaks so it was manageable. The dr. would not offer me any pain reliever as we were wanting to go natural and she didnt like to use drugs anyways...she kept encouraging me to let my body do its thing and push if I wanted but if I didnt feel like pushing not to worry about it and try to relax. At this point I wanted to push but really didnt have the urge. The contractions were very painful and I was getting frustrated that I couldnt push. We tried lots of positions from using the birthing stool to squatting and standing etc. Finally I just stood up for a minute which was not comfortable for me and that seemed to finally bring his head down a bit. I then got on all fours and had my head  on a pillow on Andrews lap (he was on a chair)  and was hold his hands while i was on my knees. After 2 hours of nothing but painful contractions and being at 10 I finally started feeling his head coming down. I could start pushing for real. I had no idea really what was going on by this point but I do remember feeling the dr behind me grabbing the baby's head to help pull him out...then I knew we were finally close. Where as before she was patient and letting me push on my own she was now strongly encouraging me to push as hard as I could. Finally he was out! 415am just around 6 hours in total. She passed him to me between my legs and I was able to hold him. Then with the help of her, Andrew and the nurse they got me to lay down on the bed so she could deliver the placenta and cut the cord. It was the first time I had really been on the bed. They threw some blankets over me and the baby and then after they had delivered the placenta they let us rest for a half hour or so before transferring me to a clean bed and then wheeling me out of the delivery room to the recovery room.
I found out later that the pediatrician had come into the room while I was pushing waiting to take the baby when he came out but Andrew told me that what she  (the dr.) said to the pediatrician translated to, "if you want, you can wait outside the room until later". A nice way of saying we dont need you here. That particular pediatrician never came back. I am thankful for a dr. who understood and advocated for us in what we wanted. Of course once we were in the recovery room, the nurses wanted to take the baby to the nursery so they could weigh him, bathe him, dress him etc. We didn't let them take him for over an hour and when they did finally take him Andrew followed them into all the exam rooms even though they didn't want him too. He told them he was going with the baby whether they liked it or not and the nurses gave in. I think they thought he was a little strange and didn't really like the fact that he just followed them around but they didn't stop him. They did not end up bathing him but they did want to dress him because in this culture they are very paranoid of babies getting cold and therefore getting sick.
Here they keep moms and babies overnight but my OB had given me the green light to go home so if we could get the all clear from the pediatrician we could leave. We had to sign a release for to go home early but we were able to go and we were home in time to see the kids before they went to bed.
Josiah weighed in at 4,175 grams (9lbs 3oz) and was 50 cm long (19.75 inches) The nurses not being as familiar with natural births could not believe we had him naturally as they kept saying that local women dont have babies that big here and most of them have a c-section. One of the nurses even kept asking me why I would ever want to have a natural birth as (in her opinion it was more painful than a c-section) I told her the recovery would be easier and I would rather have a few hours of pain than a few weeks of recovery. She thought I was crazy..haha...
Overall, it was a great experience and went far better than I thought it might and the only difficult part was the intensive language learning experience with the nurses who were telling us things very fast and medical terms. I have no idea what they were saying and I didnt feel like trying, but thankfully Andrew could follow the basic outline. At least it was not our first baby so I didnt feel the need to try and figure out all the details of baby care they were telling us such as how to bathe him & change a diaper etc.
So there you have it!  A little long but that is our first experience with giving birth in a cross cultural setting. We still learn funny cultural things whenever we take the baby back for check ups etc but its been good.

Its been awhile...daily.life here...

Its been a busy summer and fall and its hard to believe it is already spring. I finished my summer classes in august and then we hosted a number of people through August and September. The fall saw Andrew taking classes while I watched the kids and he also made 2 trips back to Canada to get his canadian citizenship. We are thankful he got it and that is all done now.
We also discovered that we would be welcoming another child into the family this June! The kids are excited and our 3 year old asks almost daily if the baby is ready to come yet. (we are not finding out the gender). He is excited to play with the baby and thinks he should feed it yogurt and cheerios when it is born.
In January we hired a local lady to watch our kids so Andrew and I could take language classes together. We have always had to trade off time-one of us in class and one at home with the kids- we wanted to really get the most out of our time, especially considering that it will be harder to take classes once the baby is born.  So since we are in the same level, we signed up to take the next class together that ran from January until the end of February (7 weeks). We also decided to put our 3 year old boy into preschool. We wanted him to be able to make some local friends as well as learn the language so that when he starts kindergarten he will have more of an idea of what is going on and it will not be such a shock. He is really enjoying going there so far...he goes 3 days a week and he really likes his teacher. A (our almost 2 year old) stays home with our nanny. She is picking up the language very quickly as there is no english spoken. Our nanny does not speak any english so A is learning lots. Its funny to hear the kids talking to each other in the local language once in awhile.

In the meantime, Andrew and I have finished our class and will now be working with private tutors during the week. I will be meeting with my new tutor 2 times a week and she is quite intense and gives lots of homework. I hope to continue with her until the baby is born and then will re-evaluate after that. Andrew is going to meet 4 times a week with his helper and might take another course in april that finishes just before our baby is due.
Right now we have our nanny coming 3 mornings a week while we are in lessons and the other mornings I am home while Andrew meets with his helper or studies.
The afternoons are a bit more relaxed which is nice. We spend time with the kids or run errands, do homework etc. We are settling into routine again now that formal classes are done.
This summer will be low key with the baby we will be laying low and doing lots of visa paperwork for the baby and looking forward to having family come in the fall where we plan on visiting a few places around the country. Then we will probably travel in the fall quite a bit as we try to get an idea of where we will spend the next few years and what we want to do. I have some ideas of what I want to do here but not sure how it will all work out yet. Lots to think about and ponder. In the meantime, I am enjoying the slower pace of working with my tutor and being a mom to my 2 energetic kids, while getting ready for the baby (who will be born here in this city). Thats life for us right now. Learning to live in this culture is not always easy and I often long for the familiarity of home. its been over a year since I have been home and likely will be at least another year before we have plans to visit home again. I especially miss the ease and convenience of having a car...i hate taking the bus when pregnant and having to walk all over the place and up and down tons of stairs...its keeping me in good shape but its tiring as well...not sure how it will be in a few more months when I am even more uncomfortable. We keep going forwards though and I am ready and excited to meet this new little one who already has a place in our little family. Looking forwrd to once again having a newborn in the house (i know that seems crazy-but it feels easier than the 2 kids who get into everything-having a baby that is not mobile will be fun!)

The life we lead...interesting where it takes you.

So Tomorrow....or in about 12 hours our time...marks our 5th wedding anniversary. It seems like just yesterday but in other ways it seems like a lifetime ago. We used to joke about what it would be like when we had been married 5 years, wondering how many children we would have and where we would be living. Never did I imagine the answers to be anything like they are today. I would never have guessed that we would be living in a semi-tropical climate-in a land full of rich history, learning a new language and way of life and having 2 beautiful children with us. Somehow I thought we would still be at home (canada) working and living life like most people.
Looking back, I am amazed at the descisions we made that brought us here. They were not surprising decisions, as we knew this was the direction we both wanted to go in before we got married. Small decisions it seemed at the time that started events rolling. Picking up the phone, setting up a meeting, talking about our hopes and dreams and now 5 years and 2 children later we are here.
We have seen some incredible things in life up to this point. Some together and some on our own before we met. When I look at the things I have been able to see/do I am amazed.
I have swam in the Indian, pacific and atlantic oceans. Got wet in the red and marmara seas. Climbed Mt. Sinai, where Moses (maybe?) stood to watch the sunrise. Stood at the foot and gazed upon the great pyramids of Egypt, rode a camel through the desert, watched Niagara Falls thunder down, Lived on the edge of the Great Rift Valley in Africa, hiked and camped in the Grand Canyon, visited 5 of 7 continents and visited the Ayasofia and Blue Mosque.
When I look back I think, how in the world did I do all this? It doesnt really feel like me. I am realizing how the decisions I make can impact life, mine and others. I am so grateful that I have been able to experience all that I have.
Somehow when I think of all that, the thing that really sticks with me is the people. The people I met, the people I travelled with, the people I have cried with or cried for. The little girl who was healed from not being able to walk to being able to run, the orphaned and abandoned babies I was able to love and care for, the begger ladies on the street and yes, even the men who held me up at gunpoint in one particularly memorable event. I still think about them and wonder how their lives have been since that time. These experiences and these people have shaped me and made me who I am today. I would not be the same person I am now had I not experienced this. I want this for my children, I dont want to shelter them from the world but I want them to learn compassion and how people all over the world think. How to treat others who have a different skin colour, language, or religion with respect and love. How to really get into people's lives and share with them.
I guess all that is to really say, Its been a crazy 5 years but they have been great. I am excited to see what other adventures we will have together in the next few decades.

Parenting on those days!

Sometimes being a parent is hard. I knew becoming a parent would mean, changing diapers, being up in the night (or all night sometimes!) dealing with tantrums, sticky fingers and messes, but somehow I thought it was easier to solve those problems. Even when I had just one baby, I only had just one kid. Only one kids mess to clean up and deal with. Nobody else to worry about if I left the mess behind while I cleaned up the said child.
Now I have 2 kids. When one makes a mess the other one joins in. For example, today as I was changing a diaper, the other child decided it would be a good time to get into the nail polish and paint himself and whatever else he could find. Not realizing this, I put the other child down and she wandered off. I quickly tidied the room I was in and went to see what they were up to.
 Literally I was only out of sight for 2 minutes.
I went into the bathroom and there they were happily painting away. After I got over the initial shock, I stuck them both in the tub, clothes and all while trying to find something to clean the floor with. Realizing it wasn't going to come off easily, I wiped up what I could, and proceeded to clean the kids off. I stripped them and while cleaning one child, the other one decided to poop and play with that. While dealing with that mess (thankfully its all contained in the tub), the other child who I was trying to clean turns on the tap and sprays water everywhere. Now I finally have them mostly cleaned and they are having a bath, while I am sitting here trying to figure out how to attack the now dried on mess they created. Oh and its lunch time and someone needs a bottle and a nap.
I love my kids but somedays I do not like them very much, and I seriously wonder what I was thinking when I wanted kids. I somehow assumed that being a parent at some point I would get some decent sleep and could deal with all problems and tantrums in a calm and collected manner-every time. When I have been gone out of the house with full time language study and have not gotten a decent nights sleep, somehow that idea of being calm is a fuzzy memory. Its survival mode somedays.
Although I do have to be honest, today has not been all bad. They are happy to explore their creative selves and at least they were playing together nicely for a change. When I first came in the room to survey the damage I did get a warm welcome of hi mommy!! Big smiles and giggles. Don't you like our artwork?
Somehow it does help me stay somewhat calmer than I might have been otherwise. On the other hand though, it is infuriating when you are trying to measure out some sort of discipline and they just laugh themselves silly as they think mommy is just oh so funny.
Just a typical day in our house. Well nail polish is not a normal occurrence but messes are. And for the record, I really do love my kids and I know that in a few years time (ok more than a few) they will be gone and have kids of their own and Im sure in some strange and twisted way, I will be missing those messes. Because along with the messes they make, there is also bed time story cuddles and sloppy wet kisses and I can fix all their problems (generally speaking) by sitting with them on my lap and comforting them. I know they won't want to sit and cuddle with me for too many more years. So I will treasure this time and hope that I can find a good scrub-brush and nailpolish remover to get rid of the mess they made today.

Great finds

I think I have mentioned before how much I enjoy the weekly bazaar. We get whatever is in season. The strawberries are almost done and we are getting lots of watermelon, corn, cherries and apricots now. The apricots are truly amazing. I guess that is why this place is world famous for them. One thing they do not have here though is blueberries or salsa. I did find blueberries at a specialty shop but they were $8.00 for about 30-40 blueberries. I just could not bring myself to do it. So I guess we will have to wait until we are back home to have some. I miss the days of having neighbours drop of flats of berries for us! They were so good.
They also dont really have anything mexican. They do sell tortillas occasionally but that is about it. At this same specialty shop I had heard that they sold tortilla chips. It took 3 visits for me to finally score some. They were always sold out. The next task was to make salsa. I have been doing it since we got here but not I actually have chips to go along. Cilantro is a hard find but there is one vendor in the market who sells it. Those are my finds for this week. Also animal crackers. The kids love them and ask for them every day at snack time.
On a different topic, the last few days have been slow and relaxed. A is done language class and my classes start tomorrow so we had a few relaxing slower days in between. It has been nice. This morning we finished breakfast (usually around 7am as the kids are up at 6.) Then we cleaned our house just in time for the painter to come and do some touch ups and fix the wall in a few places. The kids have been peeling paint of the wall and the smallest child has eaten it. So we wanted to get it fixed obviously since paint is not a healthy part of her diet. We fed the painter lunch and cay which is a staple drink here and now he is still busy painting and fixing the walls. I just hope we can keep the kids from touching the walls until the paint dries. I think I might take 1 or both of the kids to the park later as it is not so hot today. We did not go yesterday as it was too hot to be outside in the full sun. There is very little shade on any of the playgrounds here.  This week will be busy as I become a 4 day a week student again on top of regular daily activities. Only for 2 months and then we will take a bit of a break. Our friends here are having a baby at the end of summer so we want to be available to help them out. Summer is looking busy as we have several different groups of people traveling through the city that we are hosting and have some work related things to do that will take up some time. We are enjoying the hot weather although I do miss a good air conditioner. We have some wall units in the house so some rooms stay cool. We will just be spending lots of time in those locations.